If you sit down with Nicole Mendez, you may question her decision to major in chemistry and math in her first college experience. After all, years later she owns an MFA from San Diego State in filmmaking and is currently pursuing a second master’s degree in literature and writing studies from Cal State San Marcos.  She’s earning the latter while also working full time as the administrative coordinator with the LTWR department. She’s also a wife and mom to three children.  Creating art has always been inside Mendez, and her work reflects that. She will show her documentary “Bad Child” on March 4 in Arts 111 as part of CSUSM’s Arts & Lectures series.   The 13-minute film will be shown at noon, followed by a brief discussion from Mendez. She’ll also lead a panel discussing the impacts of sexual assault, how trauma is expressed artistically and the many resources available to survivors. Staff from Student Health & Counseling Services and faculty and staff from the department of psychology and the School of Arts will sit on the interdisciplinary panel.  As with most A&L events, CSUSM students, faculty, staff and alumni are free. Community members are $5. Tickets are available online.  The topic is heavy. She wrote and produced it as a retelling of her personal sexual abuse as a child primarily at the hands of her step grandfather.   “So the film is entirely my story,” Mendez said. “It goes through every kind of what I see as different stages of the outcomes. I was sexually abused as a child multiple times, so this is something that impacted me throughout my entire lifespan. The film goes through different developmental stages and how it affected me throughout that time.”  The film also has interviews with psychologists who speak to the technical side of recovering and healing. Mendez included facts from her own research as well as statistics on recovery.   Her own personal story is woven throughout the film.  She sees the event as an opportunity to discuss a subject that still doesn’t get enough attention on college campuses, although she is quick to praise the work done by SHCS.  “There’s a lack of people who talk to their children about sexual assault,” said Mendez, 42. “It's not discussed enough as kids are growing up. It's ignored. So I think a lot of young people get to college and they don't think about these risks, and they don't think that these things do happen. And then when they happen to someone they know, or they're aware that these things are occurring, they don't know what to do. They don't know how to help. They don't know how to positively contribute to such an important issue. And so those are all things I want to touch on.”  Filled with expert interviews and personal narratives, the film touches on her experiences while also placing a hard emphasis on the importance of parental and caregiver support in the aftermath.   Healing is an individual journey, one that could be made much longer and more difficult without the presence of support.   That’s particularly important when the abuse happens to a child, according to Mendez.  “How that event impacts you is greatly determined by the support you receive or don't receive when you disclose that event, it is so critical for someone who has had horrible things happen to them,” Mendez said. “After disclosure is supported appropriately, they (a victim/survivor) will likely have less severe outcomes compared to someone who might have had something happen and they tell someone, and the person doesn't believe them, or they tell them they're a liar. There's such a big impact.”  The switch in pursuits to visual arts as an undergraduate student at a small liberal arts college in Portland wasn’t as much of a stretch as it seems because it aligned with Mendez’s interests. And when she took a film class in the SDSU MFA program in 2018, it sparked a passion for filmmaking, leading to a transition from fine art to film.  While some people choose activities when they have free time, Mendez simply doesn’t have much. Instead, she makes time for her creative outlets partly by involving her family.  Her first film — a short narrative about a girl and her grandma — was inspired by her childhood experiences – memories of making tamales with family and listening to music, which often sparked creative ideas. In the film, the girl goes into one of her grandma's rooms and starts using her sewing materials and tries to make herself a dress. At the end, the grandma comes in and offers to help her as a form of connection through action.  Mendez finds inspiration from both real-life experiences and music, particularly non-lyrical film scores. Her art is personal, often reflecting childhood experiences and family dynamics as someone who grew up in Chula Vista but also lived in Florida, Connecticut and other parts of San Diego and L.A.  In addition to making documentary films, she’s an accomplished painter. She painted her daughter for a decade in a series that explored themes of childhood innocence and the contrast between child and adult expressions.  “That was obviously a very personal series,” Mendez said of her now 16-year-old daughter. “I was, in a sense, reexamining my own childhood through these pictures of her. And then when I went off and started making films, I did some animations, and all of those had to do with my childhood. And then the film about the dress. There were elements of my childhood that were put into that.”  Her love for color and patterns is evident in all her work, from painting to filmmaking to her personal style.  Mendez of course finds it challenging to balance full-time work, family responsibilities and creative pursuits. She has slowed down on creative work to focus more on family time, especially as her three children — one in high school and two in elementary school — have more activities.  Mendez’s goal is to educate and inspire collective improvement in supporting victims and addressing sexual assault. Healing is a process, and it’s one that is different for every survivor.  She reported her abuser during the making of the documentary, which took a long time to be processed. He was arrested the same week the film was completed in spring 2022, adding another level of emotional impact to the project.   Just last month — three decades after the abuse began — he was sentenced to six years in prison. At age 87, he will most likely spend the rest of his life behind bars.  The reporting process was challenging with delays and emotional tolls, but Mendez felt it was important to go through it at the pace it required. The documentary serves as a testament to her persistence. The long journey of reporting and seeking justice is over, but the healing continues.  “I won't say there's a real resolution because I do feel like when someone experiences sexual assault of any sort, no matter how minor it is, it affects you forever,” Mendez said. “It'll affect you less if you handle it, you face it, you deal with it, you process it and process it and process it. I do believe it gets better, and some of that is shown in the film. It's not all just dark and negative. It’s more factual and just this is how it was and is.   “I want people to take something away from it as far as how can we be better? Just collectively, parents, teachers, mentors, people who are in those positions to receive that information, those disclosures. How can we as a community, as society, be more supportive and be better?”  Mendez the chemist and/or mathematician never surfaced, and probably for good reason as her art has and will inspire others.   But perhaps there’s something to order, problem solving and truth that chemistry and math provide that also speaks to who she is.   Whatever she chooses to do with her career, it’s clear Mendez is one thing above all — resilient.   “I want to focus on how to help people who have experienced that because when someone discloses sexual assault, the reactions that they receive to that disclosure impact the outcomes of that assault, sometimes more than the assault itself,” Mendez said. “It has such a profound impact on how someone heals or is able to cope that it is really critical that people have an idea of the language to use and how to address those situations.   “And the reality is this does happen, or people have experienced it in their past. But it still affects them, of course.  To know how to interact with someone about those topics who has had those experiences, that’s really important.”  Media Contact Eric Breier, Interim Assistant Director of Editorial and External Affairs ebreier@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7314

Irma Ramos Arreaga started her role as Cal State San Marcos' outreach and inclusion librarian last February.  Before joining CSUSM, Ramos Arreaga worked at a public library in San Mateo, where she helped with children's services such as story times, arts and crafts, and community work. “The reason that I came here was because the job was very similar,” Ramos Arreaga said. “With outreach, you're doing a lot of work in the community. In this case, the community is the campus, and so all the outreach that I was doing for children is experience that I use here, just in a different setting. “There's typically not a lot of outreach librarians at university libraries. A lot of the time, outreach is embedded into other jobs. In recent years, outreach has become its own job to further connect with the student body. I like outreach because I like talking to people, I like connecting to people, and I get that more in my position than in a different academic library position. I like that CSUSM is a Hispanic-Serving Institution and that I would be able to help my community.” Ramos Arreaga’s position has two different parts. On the outreach side, she's like the library's personal cheerleader, helping plan events, scoping out new services while promoting the current ones and overall connecting people to the library.  On the inclusion side, Ramos Arreaga helps develop new programs through the library, and she works hard to make sure each program is meaningful and inspiring for those who participate.  “The focus is really bringing new perspectives, new identities and new discourse for the campus to be a part of," she said. “We're being inclusive of the different populations on campus through our programming. As we are planning for programs, we're thinking of what groups to highlight and what would be representative and impactful for our campus.”  The day-to-day schedule looks very different for Ramos Arreaga depending on the time of year. Many of her days are spent planning or hosting events in the library. Her busiest time of year is before each semester when the library prepares each art exhibit for the campus population.  The Context Exhibit Series this semester features the work of Isidro Pérez García, whose exhibit is titled “Migratory Land Knowledges.”  “Isidro Pérez García was inspired by his life,” Ramos Arreaga said. “He lived in the States undocumented for 20 years. A lot of the experiences that he had working under-the-table jobs influenced the exhibit, and then his background from Mexico, being from the countryside, working on farmland, that knowledge is also embedded into the artwork. Everything in the exhibit was made by him. The frames in the exhibit include handmade paper. The ink is made from cochineal (cochinilla), which lives on cacti. He harvested this parasitic insect and made ink out of it, which is an ancestral practice. He made all the anatomical hearts that are on the spiral table. He made the spiral table with the help of his brother, using scraps from an old furniture company that he worked at. Every decision that he made for every piece has a purpose. It's very meaningful.” Long before an exhibit is set up at Kellogg Library, an artist must be located. Finding the artist takes a combination of going out to see community exhibits and sourcing through connections. After a potential artist is found, Ramos Arreaga meets with them and thoroughly views their collection, making sure they are a fit for the campus.  Ramos Arreaga’s connection with the artists continues after the exhibit is completed. Eager to get the community involved, Ramos Arreaga invites the artist on campus for a workshop. For the library exhibit last fall, artist Salvador de la Torre came to campus and led students in a printing workshop.  The workshop this semester will take place March 27 from noon-1:30 p.m. Pérez García will be bringing handmade paper and teaching attendees to harvest and create ink with the insects he uses to create his ink. Students will learn to balance the pH level to the ink and change the colors. Students will be able to use the paper to create their own designs and paint. All the work Ramos Arreaga does on campus is in collaboration with the outreach team, including Rosa Rodriguez, James Guerrero and Victoria Holley.   In addition to the exhibit workshops, Ramos Arreaga helps Allison Carr, the academic transitions librarian, run CSUSM’s Common Read program. Multiple times during the academic year, the library organizes programs relating to Common Read. Once again this year, the selection focuses on banned books. The library gives out free banned books at several of these events.   “Who doesn't like giving out free books?” Ramos Arreaga said. “But people are usually really excited, and we interact with a lot of people in a short amount of time. So it's nice to see the campus and give out books.” That is ultimately what Ramos Arrega hopes to accomplish in her role: see the lively campus and spread the love of books to the community.    Upcoming Events Common Read Banned Book Giveaway: March 4, noon-12:50 p.m., Kellogg Library Meet the Artist: Isidro Pérez Garcia: March 18, 5-7 p.m., Kellogg Reading Room (fifth floor) Exhibit Workshop: March 27, noon-1:30 p.m., The Makery (second floor)   Media Contact Eric Breier, Interim Assistant Director of Editorial and External Affairs ebreier@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7314

Join us in celebrating the history and accomplishments of women through Women’s Herstory Month. Cal State San Marcos has scheduled events throughout March that provide opportunities for students to reflect on and discuss their experiences with womanhood and identity.    Sapphic Sounds  March 4, noon, USU 3200 Celebrate women’s herstory with the Women and Gender Equity Center by discussing the rise of queer women in pop and their place in the music industry and by decorating vinyl records.     Journey to the Manosphere March 6, noon, USU 3200 Join us as we explore the rapidly growing "manosphere," a network of online spaces shaping modern masculinity, power dynamics and societal roles.   Women’s Leadership Summit March 7, 9:30 a.m., USU Ballroom The Women’s Leadership Summit invites members of the CSUSM community to explore and engage in topics related to women’s leadership and empowerment. This year's theme is "Amplify Your Voice: Your Impact," providing participants the opportunity to learn how to challenge the limitations placed on women while building the confidence and strength to empower others. The event also will help students network with women in various professional disciplines and learn from each other’s experiences. Register by Wednesday, March 5, and learn more about the topics and speakers on the WLS website.   Heart to Art Workshop  March 11, noon, USU 3200 Join the WGEC and College of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics for an engaging conversation and creative activity celebrating women in STEM. Explore how women are transforming the STEM industry while connecting with peers in a fun and inspiring environment.   Celebrando Herencia Chicana March 12, noon, USU 3200   Join us as we celebrate and empower the legacy of Chicana resilience and culture in collaboration with the WGEC, Latinx Center and Cross-Cultural Center.   Make Your Mark  March 13, noon, USU 3200 Join the WGEC and APIDA Student Center for an insightful discussion on the history of tattoos in the Philippines and their connections to gender and identity.    Breaking Down Barriers  March 18, 5 p.m., USU 2310 Join the WGEC and Latinx Center for an empowering celebration of women of color in entrepreneurship. Hear from inspiring panelists as they share their journeys, challenges and successes in building their businesses and making an impact.   DAMN. We Need a Change. March 19, 1 p.m., USU 3200 Join the WGEC to discover practical ways to get involved, make an impact and advocate for the causes you care about.   Know Your Rights Workshop  March 20, noon, USU 3200 Join the WGEC and the DREAMer Resource Office for a "Know Your Rights" workshop and learn how to be a strong ally for our undocumented community. Gain valuable knowledge and resources to advocate and support effectively.   Feminist Festival March 20, 5 p.m., Forum Plaza Join the WGEC and Tukwut Life for a vibrant celebration of femininity and female identity. Enjoy an evening of music, food and performances while building community and embracing CSUSM’s feminist spirit.   Drop the F-Bomb: Trad Wife Movement March 24, 11 a.m., USU 3200 Join us for an engaging discussion on the "trad wife" movement and its relationship to feminism. We’ll explore the historical and cultural roots of traditional gender roles, the resurgence of domestic femininity in online spaces and how these ideas align — or clash — with feminist perspectives.   Uplift & Unwind: Shelf Care March 25, noon, USU 3200 Join the WGEC to talk about feminism and literature while creating bookmarks. Media Contact Eric Breier, Interim Assistant Director of Editorial and External Affairs ebreier@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7314

Octavio Martinez first heard the term “social mobility” during his freshman year. Fast forward a few years, and Martinez – now president of Associated Students, Inc., at Cal State San Marcos – spoke on a panel of students and alumni at the 2025 National Social Mobility Symposium held Feb. 20-21 in the University Student Union Ballroom. Martinez spoke alongside Hunter Brody Chanove and Ashley Bonilla, both CSUSM alumni, and Myles Villafranca, a graduate student at Clayton State University in Georgia. Brody Chanove works in product marketing management at Viasat, and Bonilla is an evaluation consultant for Intention 2 Impact, a social impact consulting firm.  Education has always been important to the Martinez family. Martinez has four sisters, including two with CSUSM connections. One of his younger sisters is a first-year student, while his older sister, Yulisa, was the first in their family to graduate from college. Yulisa graduated in 2017 and majored in liberal studies. She returned to CSUSM to get a master's in education and now teaches second grade at nearby Twin Oaks Elementary School.  Yulisa’s journey to a degree provided inspiration for her younger brother. “I always knew I wanted to continue my education,” Martinez said. “My parents never finished college, and it’s something that they wish they could have continued if they had more time and more resources. They saw what education did for peers who did finish and they always let us know that you can finish your degree and have financially stable lives, because education is a gateway to being financially stable and to have prosperity in life.”  After seeing his sister thrive at CSUSM, Martinez realized how he could thrive as well.  “Because she came to CSUSM, it allowed me to see myself here, too,” Martinez said. “Being a part of my community has been something that I always strive to do, something that's super important to me. As I look into my future, that's something I want to do, and I definitely saw that in my sister.” While attending CSUSM, Yulisa was involved in several organizations around campus. Similar to her brother, she volunteered with ASI.  Martinez joined ASI last year, though it wasn't the first way he got involved on campus. He worked for the Office of Inclusive Excellence as a student assistant. He also had a job where he gave out reminders on wearing masks on campus during the COVID-19 pandemic.   Between those two experiences, Martinez felt compelled to get even more involved.  “I wanted to make more of an impact on campus and voice student concerns, but also be a voice that I didn't see represented on campus,” Martinez said. “After seeing the work that impacts students, I wanted to do something that was forward facing with students. I knew that ASI was a prominent student group on campus that allowed me to talk to different administrators and with different student leaders. I knew that was something I wanted to do to close the communication gap between administrators and students.” From October 2023 to May 2024, Martinez was the diversity, equity and inclusion representative for the ASI board of directors. He then was elected president and began the role last August.  Martinez is set to graduate in May with a degree in business administration marketing. He's applying to schools to pursue his MBA, and he aspires to work in higher education or local government. “Because of my education, I am now more confident,” Martinez said during the Social Mobility Symposium panel. “Coming into higher education, confidence was put on a pedestal for me, showing that I can be a leader and share my knowledge with others. I’ve been able to see the impact of Cal State San Marcos and the impact of education and how it has so much influence on a person’s life.” Media Contact Eric Breier, Interim Assistant Director of Editorial and External Affairs ebreier@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7314

Five years ago, when Christopher Greely first acquired a leadership position at the San Diego biotech where he works and was charged with expanding his team by almost tenfold, he knew just the profile he was looking for. Scientists who had the proper academic underpinning. Scientists who were passionate and driven. Scientists who weren’t afraid to roll up their sleeves and work hard. And it certainly didn’t hurt if they were, like him, scientists who had graduated from Cal State San Marcos. “I brought on board some of my previous classmates and really kept an eye out for any fresh grads from CSUSM who were just looking for an opportunity,” Greely said. “Because I know the educational basis that they're operating with and their scientific expertise. But on top of that, one of the things that I've noticed about the CSUSM community is really the push to strive for more.” Greely would know, since he is one of those strivers. One of two children of a single mother who was a victim of domestic abuse, the North County native embarked on a decade-long journey (interrupted multiple times at multiple schools) in higher education that ended in a single academic year at CSUSM, from which he graduated with a degree in biology in 2017. What a year it was, however. It helped propel Greely into a job at Carlsbad’s Trinity Biotech, which he then parlayed into a position at TriLink BioTechnologies by May 2018. Almost seven years later, he’s still there, having been promoted six times, most recently in 2023 to associate director of nucleic acid products manufacturing. TriLink has about 200 employees, and Greely estimates that up to 10% of them are CSUSM alumni. Included in that group are a couple of others who are high in the company’s hierarchy: Justin Barbosa, vice president and general manager of discovery; and Evan Myers, associate director of process development. “CSUSM provides a high-level education that prepares us for the future,” said Myers, a 2016 graduate who tutored Greely through the STEM Success Center when they were both students and now works with him closely at TriLink. “Chris is an exceptional worker who brings huge value to the company.” At no time was that more clear than in the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic. While the virus was beginning to rage out of control, BioNTech, the German biopharma giant and an existing client of TriLink’s, approached the company asking for its assistance in producing a vaccine that would combat COVID. TriLink, which specializes in the synthesis of nucleic acids and mRNA capping analogs, possesses a proprietary technology called CleanCap that simplifies mRNA manufacturing by removing additional enzymatic steps, resulting in higher efficiency and better yields. BioNTech wanted as much CleanCap as it could get its hands on. There was just one problem: TriLink had recently moved into a new building in Sorrento Valley, and its GMP (an industry term that stands for “good manufacturing practices”) lab wasn’t operational yet. So while Greely was building out his team from five people to 45 to prepare for the heightened demand from BioNTech, he also had to devise a solution that would bridge the gap from where TriLink was in its manufacturing capacity to where it was going. That involved doing some of their work in a standard chemistry lab like the ones Greely utilized back at CSUSM and the rest in a temporary GMP lab. “It enabled us to partner with BioNTech and Pfizer and say, ‘Hey, we understand we’re not equipped right now to satisfy your needs, but we’ll make it happen,’ ” Greely said. By the time the state-of-the-art lab facility was completed, Greely and his team were ready to hit the ground running. Starting on Valentine’s Day in 2021, they worked around the clock every day for about eight months to ensure that BioNTech had enough CleanCap to produce the vast amounts of COVID vaccine necessary to inoculate millions of people around the globe. “It was an enormous satisfaction knowing that you were helping your community, the overall population, the whole world,” Greely said. “During the pandemic, some of my lead engineers would say things like, ‘I’m coming in at 2 a.m. because you called me, because the equipment is down, and at the end of the day, I want my daughter to be able to go back to school.’ That was huge.” Greely was prepared for such a period of growth, both personal and professional, because of the training he received at CSUSM. He vividly remembers a biochemistry course with professor Kambiz Hamadani that was three units but seemed like twice that. At the time, Greely felt overwhelmed by the volume of work, but once he was a new employee at TriLink, he suddenly found himself grateful for the grueling experience. “The principles that Hamadani taught and the ground that his virtual lab covered prepared me for some of the standard operating procedures I would see in the lab within my first three months of starting my job,” he said. “That was eye-opening for me, the real-world application of what’s being taught at CSUSM.” After growing like gangbusters during the pandemic, TriLink contracted in 2023 as the demand for the COVID vaccine decreased. But the company is coming off a prosperous year fueled by the development of a new iteration of CleanCap that’s being used by industry partners for cell and gene therapy that could help cure diseases. “Whenever I interview anyone, they always ask me, ‘What do you love about TriLink?’ ” Greely said. “And my response always stays the same: I am never bored. It’s all about pushing to that new benchmark, clearing that next hurdle, seeing how far we can take our intellectual property for the betterment of the human experience.” Media Contact Brian Hiro, Communications Specialist bhiro@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7306

Elinne Becket and Robert Iafe can’t quite agree on what sparked her interest in him. Ask Iafe and he’ll say the crack he made about Becket’s beloved Croatian soccer team did the trick. Not so, says Becket. “At first, I actually disliked him for weeks,” Becket said. “Once he finally started being nice to me, then I started liking him. But he's like, ‘No, that's what caused interest.’ This is one of those agree to disagree moments.” But there’s no such controversy when it comes to their engagement in 2022. “It was perfect,” they both said, nearly in unison. Becket, a biology professor, and Iafe, a chemistry professor and department chair, tied the knot two years later, exchanging vows last Oct. 5 at the place that has become a second home for them – Cal State San Marcos. If getting married at one’s place of employment seems unconventional, it shouldn’t to those who know Becket and Iafe. The passion they have for their students is the same passion they have for the university. And CSUSM’s Event and Conference Services (ECS) team ensured there wasn’t a moment of doubt about having their wedding at the McMahan House on campus. “Everyone at ECS literally brought me to tears in a good way multiple times because they were just so helpful and so thoughtful,” said Becket, noting the tireless work and attention to detail of event planners Lizette Alvarado and Zayla Paschall. “It went perfectly because of them. I'm just so, so grateful for the fact that they made it even more special than I thought it was going to be.” It was a day that was 16 years in the making. Becket and Iafe met in 2008 at UCLA where each was working on their Ph.D. (Becket in molecular biology and Iafe in organic chemistry). Though they were in different departments, they met through one of Becket’s former teacher assistants who was lab mates with Iafe. They were friends for about six months before they started dating, though the friendship could have been derailed by Iafe poking fun at Croatia’s painful exit from the 2008 Euro Cup when Turkey tied a quarterfinal match as time was winding down before advancing on penalty kicks. “It was just enough of a bite for her to be annoyed but have that interest,” Iafe said. Becket remembers it a bit differently. Born in Los Angeles, she traveled between the U.S. and Croatia frequently as a child during the Croatian War of Independence, spending time with her grandparents while her mom helped guide humanitarian aid to the front lines. Needless to say, her ties to Croatia – and its soccer team – run deep. “Oh, he knew what he was doing,” she said. Iafe rebounded from the faux pas and their friendship evolved as they regularly hung out in UCLA’s grad lounge while waiting on results from their respective research experiments. Both play piano, leading to battles in the grad lounge pitting Becket’s classical music against Iafe’s penchant for Elton John (Becket’s wedding processional was to John’s “Your Song,” which Iafe often played for her). The piano duels led to another talent they share – dancing. Becket has danced a variety of styles throughout her life and Iafe competed in ballroom in college. Their friendship blossomed, and, on Dec. 16, 2008, they had their first official date, even marking the occasion with a photo. The 16-year wait from that first date to their wedding day wasn’t intentional so much a product of juggling a relationship with the challenges of establishing their respective careers. “Marriage was always what we wanted to work toward, but we were just enjoying what we had,” Becket said. “It was less important about the legal thing and more important about saying vows in front of our loved ones.” And it was those vows that remain a highlight from their wedding day, particularly Iafe’s words. He took to heart an early conversation they had when they were dating – though, much like the soccer joke he made, they don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye on the way that conversation went. “So, 16 years ago, she had a couple of demands for me,” Iafe said. “She said, ‘You are not allowed to read your vows. You have to say it from the heart.' ” “This was when I was 20, when we first started dating,” Becket interjected. “And it wasn't a command, it was an off-the-cuff cuff remark where I was like, ‘I don't understand how people can just read their vows.’ It was one of those things of, ‘If you really mean it, you should be able to say it, blah, blah, blah.’ ” “And I listened to every word that she said,” Iafe said. Fast forward 16 years and Becket jotted down some bullet points to ensure that she would hit on the topics that were most meaningful. Iafe, on the other hand, decided to wing it. While there is friendly disagreement over whether it was truly off-the-cuff or well-rehearsed, they agree that Iafe nailed it. “Of course, this guy has the best vows ever memorized and completely showed me up,” Becket said. “And what's really annoying was that when we were talking about who goes first, he's like, ‘You know what? I'll let you go first.’ He said he didn't want to repeat something I said. “And, no, it was because he wanted to show me up,” she added, laughing. “The video shows me saying, ‘Oh, now I know why you wanted to go second.’ ” Similar to how he lectures, Iafe said he had major points he wanted to hit and just let it flow from there. His groomsmen, Becket said, tell it differently. “They were telling me, ‘He was practicing all day,’ ” Becket said. “Just the major points,” Iafe said. “How we get there, I don’t know. It’s a journey. Live on the edge.” As they approach their first Valentine’s Day as a married couple this week, there aren’t any special plans in the works. They’ll mark the occasion in the low-key way they normally do. And before Becket can give details on what they normally do, Iafe jumps in. “We don’t actually celebrate Valentine’s Day,” he said, “because every day is Valentine’s Day.” Less than five months into marriage, spoken like someone who already knows the key to wedded bliss. Media Contact Eric Breier, Interim Assistant Director of Editorial and External Affairs ebreier@csusm.edu | Office: 760-750-7314